The Whole Megillah

My intention was to post every day. Unfortunately, the hotel's internet service was down. Okay, not a huge problem - I could write posts on the computer & then upload them when I got home. Except then our voltage adaptor fried out, so I couldn't even use the laptop. ARGH!

In any case, here's a day-by-day look at our Astrakhan experience. Sorry that I have to be cagey about her name & can't post pics yet, but until the court says she's ours, that's not allowed.


Saturday: We had major visa drama, in which we weren't sure until 1:00 in the afternoon if I could go or note. This, with a 3:30 flight. oh yeah. Thank heaven it all came together. Visa in hand, we flew to JFK (easy) then to Moscow (long, but not unbearable).

Sunday: We navigated the transfer between terminals in Moscow pretty easy - it was well marked and uncrowded, and we we wondered why people had said it was such a pain. (We would soon learn!) Waited about 3 hours in Moscow, then flew to Astrakhan. We were met at the airport by Lena, our coordinator, and Vala, our intepreter. hey were amazed at our tiny suitcases (both carry-on sized) and said that Americans usually bring MUCH more. They loaded us in a car driven by our driver, Vlad-something (I felt like a stupid American tourist but I NEVER got his name right - it was so long) and took us to the hotel where they reviewed documents we'd brought along while we tried to settle, call the kids, etc. Then they took us to a grocery store, where Vala helped us buy some food (our room had a half-size fridge, very convenient). The big hit, food-wise, was a meat pie - a big round turnover-ish pie stuffed with ground pork, cabbage, onions, etc. Really yummy. We went back to the hotel, showered before we were condemned for our stench, ate, and dropped.

Monday: Our appt at the Ministry of Education (MOE) wasn't until the afternoon, so we spent the morning seeing the sights of Astrakhan. It's a very dry climate - the only desert area in Europe, according to Vala - so there was lots of dust and browns and heat. And they're hard at work prepping for the celebration of the 450th birthday of the town, so EVERYTHING is being renovated. But we could still get an idea of how things looked. Astrakhan is one of the few cities in Russia to have a kremlin (which means fortress), so we went there and saw a beautiful old church, a monastery, and a chapel, all within the walls that used to contain the whole city. Also saw the Volga river, which is big and wide like the Mississippi. Apparently. the Volga in Astrakhan is the only place outside of India where lotus flowers grow. We didn't see them, but how cool! We wandered the streets with Vala, hit an internet cafe, had some lunch, and probably got some documents notarized, because we ended up doing that EVERY day. We also spent a lot of time waiting. Next time, I must remember to bring my knittiing.

Finally it was time for our MOE appt. We tooled over there and - you guessed it - waited in the hall for our turn. That was when I first got to use my most useful phrase in Russian - "Ya ne panemayoo parooskie" - "I don't understand Russian." We finally were shown in and met with the adoption supervisor, who asked us why we were adopting from Russia, did I work, what kind of delays Miri had when we brought her home, how the boys had accepted Miri, how our community accepted her. Oh, and if we planned to move to Canada. Not a terrible amount of questions, but it's odd to do this with a translator going back and forth between you & the questioner. Then she gave us the info about Little Sister that pretty well matched what we'd already been told, and asked if we wanted to meet her. We said yes & signed the papers that said so, then Vala ran and got those notarized, then we got a warant giving us permission to visit the orphanage, then we piled in the car and drove there.

It took about half an hour to get to Baby Home #3. We had to put little booties over our shoes when we went in. We were shown into a waiting room area, with offices that opened off it. We talked and waited and I worked very hard to not throw up. Then finally they brought her in to us.

My first thought was that she was so tiny, she could blow away. The teensiest little legs and arms, so light and small. And they'd put pretty, giant ribbons in her hair that were literally as big as her head, giving her a very Cindy Lou Who effect. But being tiny didn't slow this kid down! She came in, looked at the toys we'd brought, looked at the big fish in the fish tank, then spent most of the next hour trying to run through one of the many doors that opened off the room. By the time our hour was up I was exhausted fron chasing her. I was also really good at saying "Nyet!" The best part of the visit was near the end, when she got frustrated over something and lay down to suck her thumb, and I kind of laid down beside her and sang soft little nonsense songs using her name. It was quiet and close and a moment we truly shared.

After the visit we drove back to the hotel and basically collapsed.

Tuesday: In the morning, we went back to the baby home, where we met with the social worker, the baby home doc, and the defectologist (?) (someone we would probably call a developmentalist). We learned more about Little Sister's history, both social & medical. Lots of info in a very short time. We tried to think of pertinent questions, but I was getting a bit worried by some of the things we heard. Then we went outside to watch/play with her along with the other kids in her group.

After the visit we ran all over town trying to get a new card for our European cell, so we could call home, and a voltage adaptor so we could recharge the computer. Got the card, no luck with the adaptor. ARGH. Then back to the BH, where we had a very informative & reassuring appointment with the international adoption doctor we brought in from Moscow. She was fabulous - went over all the records, examined Little Sister, played with her, watched her. Her assessment was very encouraging, so with great relief and joy we said YES!

When we went back to the hotel, we went across the street to an open market and bought a barbecued chicken for dinner. They wrapped it in a giant soft tortilla-like bread and gave us dipping sauce. So to eat it, we ripped chunks off with a piece of the bread. That was super yum.

Wednesday: We had an early start to go to the notary. Once again, most of our time was spent sitting & waiting. We had to sign over power of attorny to some nice lady, so she can file all the documents for us. After that, we had to drop more stuff at the MOE, then another visit. Little Sister was pretty used to us by this point, so it was a really fun visit. We could start to predict what she would like, what things we had to hide so she wouldn't destroy them. She was also taking more around us. We could start to actually interact, with my little Russian attempts, and she was starting to pick up on some of our words, like hand and nose.

I can't remember what we did after the visit. Oh - tried to find an internet cafe that was working. No luck. When we finally found a place that had an open computer, the whole place was having a server problem. ARGH. And then we tried to change our plane tickets to leave Friday, but Aeroflot said it would cost us another $640 EACH. We said thanks, but no thanks.

In the afternoon we had to return to the BH with a psychologist from the MOE, who had to observe us while we interacted with Little Sister. That was interesting. She also had lots of questions about my professional background, Miri's level of delay, etc, but I think she gave us a passing grade. She was very nice. And that was another fun visit. It's very hard to play one on one for an hour or so with no breaks for reality, very artificial, but we all managed. And Little Sis was becoming very playful & teasing, and also discovered the game of "pull the glasses off Mommy's face." That was when the psychologist told us a new phrase to use - the Russian for don't do that!

On the way back to the hotel we stopped at another grocery store and got the best meat pie yet. I have to learn how to make those.

Thursday: Larry woke me with the news that while I was asleep he'd called the travel agent in Boston and we were indeed able to change our tickets, for just $140 each. Wooohooo, we were going home Friday!

When we went to the BH, they told us we would need to take her for her passport pictures. Cool, an adventure! We played for a while, then it was time to go. She was all excited about going in the machina (car), but did whimper a bit when we got in. A packet of goldfish crackers solved that problem :-) It took forever to get evryone loaded - me with Lottle Sis on lap, Lar, the driver, the interpreter, and s staff person from the BH - but finally we were all set for the short drive to the photographer. A very good thing that happeneed on arrival - when we were getting out of the car, I was in the middle of the back seat with Little Sis on my lap, and the BH staffer reached back to take her from me so I could get out - and Little Sister shrank away from the staffer and grabbed ME!

That was the moment when I knew we were going to make it.

Well, the photographer was cool. The BH lady had brought a pretty blue dress for the pic, and we put that on her, and fussed over her hair (we finally got to see her without mega-bows!!!), and she sat on my lap and ate goldfish while we waited. When it was our turn, they had me sit on the chair with a white sheet draped over me & her on my lap. My role in life: backdrop. It took a few shots but they got it. Then it was back to the car and back to the BH, where Little Sis let us know very clearly that she did NOT want to go back. She was ready to leave, I think, to stay with us, and it broke my heart to say good-bye.

Back to town. Larry and I went to the mall, where we got some lunch and looked fruitlessly for souvenirs. Larry also took a picture of a Baskin Robbins sign written in Cyrillic, and then got yelled at by a guard, who told him NO CAMERAS.

Back to the BH for the final visit. We were allowed to take her outside. She, of course, made an immediate beeline for the gate. She'd seen the outside world and she was determined to get back! She was so mad when we had to keep her inside the yard .... eventually she settled. We blew bubbles and walked around the building, over and over, her holding my hand while she repeated my nonsense noises. She also discovered the joys of water bottles, and how much fun it is to get your teeny mouth full of water, then yank the bottle away so you get drenched. She was soaked when we had to leave! And again, it was so very hard to send her back inside when we had to go. Especially when she cried :-(

We left, and went to the bank to change money, and went to a little souvenir shop near the kremlin to pick up a couple of things. Then back to the hotel to pack up.

Friday: A very very LONG day. We met a nice guy who spoke Emglish while we were waiting for the plane in Astrakhan. He was an oil engineer and had lived in Houston for a few months, doing a training session. (Astrakhan is near the Caspian Sea, where there is lots of oil drilling taking place.) He was a hoot.

While waiting for our bags in Moscow, we ran into a guy from Edmonton (Alberta), another oil guy. We had a Canadian bonding moment. He & our other oil friend talked rigs for a while, and we learned some interesting things about life on an oil rig. Then Edmonton guy, who also had to change terminals, tagged along with us as we navigated the change. Let's just say it was a LOT more complicated to change terminals this way than it had been on the first flights. All of a sudden I was glad we had 6 hours between flights, because I was sure it would take most of that time just to get to the other terminal.

We got there eventually and figured out the system for getting from the terminal to the gate. There was a Delta flight to NY that had been delayed, so it was leaving 20 minutes before ours, FROM THE SAME GATE. Oh yeah. Imagine the crowd, then try to block the image from your mind ASAP. It wasn't pretty. Though I have to say that airports do give you a chance to see the best in people, as they lean over to help each other. It's very heartening to see folks guiding each other through the procedures.

The flight to JFK was loooooooong. Every time I fell asleep, they came on the PA system to tell us how fast we were flying and at what altitude. I kid you not. I tried to do some plotting, but I was sooooooo exhausted and miserable, and Larry had nothing to read ... ugh ugh ugh. I was so very very glad when we got to JFK.

Then I found out that JFK can also be an airport from hell.

Passport control - easy. Larry got hauled away by our good friends at Homeland Security, as always, but at this point we know it will happen and have our plan in place. And the guy was very friendly, talked to him about adoption, etc. We waited a good 45 minutes for our bags, then went through Customs, then went through the nonsense of changing teminals and found out that Moscow had been merely a warm-up. We hadn't bought tickets from JFK to home in advance, because we didn't want to get smacked with a $100 change fee, but that backfired in our face when we got to the counter and were told it would be $250 each to fly. Holy crap. Larry said no and started calling car rental places, but the weather was horrendous in NYC that night, and flights had been canceled all over, so there were no cars and no hotels. After an hour of trying various tactics, he finally conceded defeat and called JetBlue back & booked us tickets. It helped when I remembered we had credit on JetBlue & they applied that to the cost.

Boarding passes in hand, we went to the gate. Flight delayed.

We got a bite to eat, then tried to access the free WiFi. No luck.

Our flight got canceled. Remember - we already knew there were no cars and no hotels. And by this point, we had been up for a good 24 hours, and I'd had no more than a 20 minute nap on the plane. I contemplated walking home. At the rate we were going, it would have been faster.

Larry finally tried Expedia, who found a hotel 10 minutes from the airport. We waited 40 minutes in line for a cab who charged us the flat rate to Queens: 60 frickin' dollars for a 15 minute ride. I knew Larry was exhausted when he made only a token protest.

Got inside, the hotel guy said he didn't have a reservation for us, Expedia hadn't contacted him, and all his rooms were blocked by the airlines. But he was a decent guy and gave us a room anyway. (Did I mention that when we got to Astrakhan, we found out Expedia had messed up THAT reservation as well?)

Shower. Sleep. Then back to JFK on Saturday for an easy flight to Syracuse.

And we get to do it all again in about 8 weeks!